It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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