am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
