Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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