she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
