I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
