So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
