This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
