I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
well you can't waste a boner
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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