Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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