Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
