sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
