you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize