Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
