bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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