I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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