So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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