yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
