Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
