Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
