Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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