I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
