i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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