This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
