what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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