You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
