Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
