Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
