She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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