Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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