Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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