ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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