You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize