I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I need moral support for this bender
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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