the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
