how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
