Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
