found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize