I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
