My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
