ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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