You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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