it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
