My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
