Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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