I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize