you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
