are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
