you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize