i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
