he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
