oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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