I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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