My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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