it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
