we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
