flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize