Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
