I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am midnight drunk by noon
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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