I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
