apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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