I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
