im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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