You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
