im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
