Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
