Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize