I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
