ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
