I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
