why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
