Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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