Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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