we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need water and some morals
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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