I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
