why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
