everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
