i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
