you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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